“Temperatures of 35C have been recorded on Vienna’s U6…well beyond the EU limit of 30C for transporting cattle.”

The Telegraph, 17 July

“Europeans are proud of their ability to cope with summer heat without the icy air-conditioners that are so common in the United States. But sometimes, even for an Austrian, it’s just too much.

Defying the temptation of air-conditioning, the publicly owned transport company decided to hand out 14,000 deodorants earlier this week instead.

Reactions were mixed: While the smell-concealing gifts were warmly welcomed by Vienna commuters and were “snatched out of our hands,” according to a spokesman for the company, some wondered about the underlying message of the initiative. To some, the slogan of the campaign may very well have been: Shower more — or at least use some deodorant.”

The Washington Post, 18 July

The U6 will never be the public transportation poster child for “The World’s Most Livable City,” just saying; and if I had been invited to contribute, “Launder your clothes (more)” would have been my slogan suggestion. Deodorant and a shower are defenseless against the dark arts of stale clothing.

Moving along.

Our theory? Someone turned onto our street (against the Einbahn) and realized the mistake in time to reverse in our driveway; and in shifting, slid down the driveway slope and hit the garage door. We will never know because the Asshat only left the cracked panel as a calling card.

But more disturbing was this sight of a slice of lemmings (“slice” is the collective term, who knew?) moving along the sidewalk, their leader carrying a, “Crystal Cruises” sign. The analyst in me instantly rang Dr. Google. “Why would tourists be wandering my neighborhood?” did not yield much intel, so into a travel forum wormhole I dove. The cruise company is upper echelon and organizes “small group tours of unique places” in each of their port cities. Still not satisfied, I registered on the forum and asked my question of the experts.

The answer? Apparently there is an artist who specializes in fantastic (as in, fantasy) art who has a small gallery in my ‘hood. One person who responded to my question wrote that the cruise company bus (which I also saw parked along my street-eek!) can not navigate the narrow lanes and so the tourists must walk into the neighborhood. I guess discerning travelers to Vienna want more than Sisi, Schnitzel and Sacher Torte.

In other more local neighborhood news, the lavender in my garden bloomed spectacularly purple this year, and I could not wait to bring in a bouquet to perfume the house…

…along with a passed out pollinator. Teehee.

Was heading somewhere on the bus. Got off at a different-than-usual stop and walked past this window. Not creepy at all.

Stuffed crust pizza. (Shakes head) Why could America not export “Open on Sundays” to Austria, instead?

Also in said grocery, a helpful (or sarcastic, it really could go either way) lift guide for the incoming expats up in these parts. K is for “Keller,” the underground car garage; E is for “Erdgeschoss,” the ground floor with the grocery.

“Family Spaces” be damned in the “K is for ‘Keller’.” To close, as is my nature, even in the summer when so many Viennese head for cooler climes there will always be someone; or two someones in this instance to keep the Asshat Parking Hall of Fame alive.